2011: How Julie Got Her Groove Back

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My New Year’s Resolution for 2011? Get my mojo back.

So I have two choices: 1) Go to Jamaica and sleep with Taye Diggs or 2) you know, find my mojo somewhere else. Since my aging skin should really stay out of the sun (not to mention I’m pretty sure my lovely husband would not approve), I’m taking number one off the table.   And the truth is the kind of mojo I’ve lost wouldn’t be restored with a little hanky panky with Taye Diggs. I’m not talking about sex appeal at all.  This past year, and maybe this is something all new moms experience, I’ve lost a bit of my life swagger—that surge of energy when you think watch out world, here I come, or better yet, that quiet confidence of just being grateful that you get to wake up everyday and be you.

I’m not sure how it happened, but I find lately that I’m less sure of myself, that I’m a little too passive, a little insecure, self-conscious.  That I can’t just buy a sweater and pull off the price tag.  Instead, I bring it home, try it on for my husband and ask, “Do I look okay?”  And when he says yes, I can’t help but say, “Are you sure?”  And this extends far beyond silly things like sweaters.  These days, when I write a sentence, a kick-ass sentence, I don’t sit back and give myself an internal high-five and wait until tomorrow to edit; instead, now I immediately second guess, pick holes, convince myself that it is far from awesome sauce.  When it comes to Elili, I tend to question my own instincts, ask the silly question—“Am I good mom?”—way more often than is necessary.

See? No self-confidence.

So my New Year’s Resolution for 2011 is to get my mojo back. To recognize all of my blessings, and instead of feeling sapped, feel empowered by them.  To quit all this second guessing nonsense.  To spend a little bit more time on me—whether this means keeping up my goal of running regularly (which I’ll confess I haven’t been doing), getting my eyebrows waxed long before it gets to the point that I have hair in my eyes, or simply taking a night off once in a while to soak in a bathtub with a good book.  To shed the silly guilt that seems to be a part and parcel of motherhood in our culture.  To realize that this new book I’m writing might actually turn into something I’m proud of.  To wake up each morning and recognize that it’s pretty damn good to be me.

Yup, you better watch out 2011.  Because I’m reclaiming my swagger.  My mojo.  Nope, I don’t need to go to Jamaica and make whoopee with Taye Diggs.  I just need to find my inner cool, my inner Taye Diggs, if you will.

So that’s my New Year’s Resolution, folks.  Find my mojo.

Wait? What? Okay.  Fine.

I also resolve to stop using words like whoopee.

11 Responses to “2011: How Julie Got Her Groove Back”

  1. Monica Bhide says:

    Been feeling the same way.. Hope I can get mine back as well.

  2. Carol says:

    You said everything I’ve been thinking about myself. I, too, will reclaim my “swagger.” Love that word.

  3. Monica and Carol, best of luck reclaiming your mojo/swagger! I have no doubt we’ll all find it in 2011. See that? I used the words “no doubt.” Fulfilling my resolution already. xoxo

  4. Paulita says:

    As a mother of teenagers, it took me a minute to remember what it feels like when you aren’t getting enough sleep and you secondguess ever decision. I seriously think sleep deprivation is part of the problem. Your strut will reemerge and, having read your previous books, I know this one will be outstanding as well.

  5. Thanks so much, Paulita! And yes, you are absolutely right: sleep deprivation is definitely part of it. I’m definitely going to add GET MORE SLEEP to operation “Julie Gets Her Groove Back.” Tired people just don’t swagger. :)

  6. Marielle says:

    You’re definitely on the right track by counting your blessings. The key is acknowledging that you deserve them! Good luck, and keep your readers posted.

  7. Ambre says:

    I just wanted to let you know I absolutely loved After You. I read a TON of novels and this one was one of my favorites for sure. Can’t wait to read The Opposite of Love which I just got my hands on. Thank you for keeping me up late! :)

  8. Kim says:

    Love this post, Julie. I can definitely relate to the whole second guessing yourself thing. I think it’s been exacerbated by social media a bit. Is this post interesting enough? this comment clever enough? this status update witty enough? It gets exhausting:) Good luck with your mojo!

  9. Thanks so much again, everyone. And sorry Marielle, Ambre and Kim for taking so long to approve your comments. (I often forget to check back here.) Marielle, will try to keep counting my blessings, because the truth is, I’m a very, very, very lucky woman. Ambre, thanks so much for the kind words about AFTER YOU. You’ll have to let me know what you think of THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE. And Kim, couldn’t agree more about the social media stuff. Just downloaded the program Freedom to my computer, so I’ll be able to spend more time focusing on my work and less time trying to be clever in 140 character sound bites.

    xoxo

  10. Ambre says:

    Hi again Julie – I did finish The Opposite Of Love and also loved it. I must say After You was my favorite of the two. I had a harder time relating to the situation in Opposite I think because I am so far removed from her lifestyle – the crazy work hours, the city, the general way she lived her life. But it was a wonderful story. I guess I just really felt a connection to the situation in After You. Regardless, I will keep my eyes open for your next novel. And hurry up with it! ;)

  11. Lia Mack says:

    I FOUND my mojo after my kids were born, because, for once, I could DO something real, tangible, everlasting…even if I made a mistake here and there. And you will. Make mistakes. Human is as human does. However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that you are MOM, and MOM is the most important job there is. And the hardest. 24/7? Hello! If you can MOM, you can do anything. Including write! Take hold of that inner critic and do lunch.

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